insomnia

The longest night. Saw 4 o'clock come & go. A million thoughts churning through my gut. Comfort-rocking the fear. feotal depression. Options diminish & - finally - the comfort of zero choice, the snuggling cloud of hopelessness packaging the fear for it's incarceration of slumber.

The fear fears sleep. Avoids it. Denies it. Sleep may repair & comfort in it's fully furnished padded cell but it brings the next day in an instant. To lose consciousness me, again the realisation of ourselves - the recall of our existence.

Alarm - occipital shock. Time ambitiously set with pre-insomniac confidence. Where? Who? What? Oh - here - me ... this...

The longest night looms...

- sisyphus 2005