public sneeze

Try this: whenever someone you’re with sneezes & goes – ‘excuse me’ – don’t say a word.

Nothing… Next one to speak loses…

I guarantee you that they will initially be confused, then offended, then angry. Their life will not be able to continue until you have ‘blessed’ them & suddenly you’re a bastard.

They have assaulted your senses

They have drowned you in their mucal shower

They have infected you with their unique cocktail of microbial contagion

But you’re the cunt

Fuck them

If they insist then simply drop your kecks & lay some cable and say ‘oh, excuse me…’

Then wait for them to bless you

Personally, when I want to expel bodily waste I use the fucking toilet.

- sisyphus 2005