freedom, finances & availability

still a bit shaky. my experiences this year have somewhat undermined my self belief. understudying & fringe can do that.

so, my head-space is a rather tortured place to be. constantly worried about cash-flow and weighed down with debt.

also not happy with my physical state. consider myself to be two stone over-weight & not exercising regularly. self-image poor.

so, what's to be done?

physically i can sort myself out. looking to detox and rejuvenate and have started another blog to focus my mind on a clear plan. http://fitnessroad.blogspot.com/

financially i have to seriously consider all of my options. the bottom line is that i am carrying huge debt and it is dragging me under. if i were able to pay off a substantial amount of this debt then i would be much lighter on my feet - not to mention lighter in my own self.

the thought of taking, say 6 months out is actually quite attractive. it would allow me to rejunvenate my physicality, my enthusiasm and my finances. the downside is that i would not be available should any unique opportunities arise.

okay, now having written that let's think about it. to date i have covered pretty much all bases in terms of small scale theatre, stand-up, fringe theatre & no/low-budget films. i have actually got no intention to simply re-tread that same old ground. consequently, i am now in the position of chasing ever rarer beasts. i do not mean that in a negative sense, simply in the sense that i am now much more discriminating about what i want to do.

therefore it is very possible that no suitable opportunity will come along in the next 6 months.

if something does come up i can always take the time off to audition - probably more flexible than my current situation where i commit to certain days for the freelance roleplay.

if an excellent job comes along then i can resign! - take the hit. if the jobs's worth it then fine - go for it.

mmm, never thought i'd be hankering to return to the nine to five...